Life in a NutShell.

When I say, "I Miss You" August 27, 2018 | MissTaylor When I say you I miss you, the words are empty. Sure that may sound heartless to most but to me the emptiness speaks of something that USED to be there. When I say I miss you, I miss the person you used to be, I miss the long talks, the laughs and the dumb things we'd do. When I say I miss you, I am grieving a loss, not a physical one but an emotion, and mental one. because the person I once loved so deeply has changed, I have lost you, I am abandoned. So when I say, I miss you. I am holding back, holding back from exploding with words of rage over how things have changed. How the bad outweighs the good to you and the person I once knew is gone. So when I say, I miss you be thankful that I am saying it at all. That the one shred of hope that I have left for you is hanging on because we walk a thin line together now, one that may tear us apart forever. When I say I mi...

The  wind is my voice and I am lost to it, floating effortlessly away.  I am alone, alone in the presence of many. A silent figure awaiting the promise of interacting.  The kind of interaction that gives my heart hope, hope that one day I will really be seen for the person that I am. The person with a story to tell and sadness in her eyes. The kind that longs for adventure and just a simple question from a stranger.  I have fear, fear that by the time I'm heard it'll be too late, that the wind that has picked up my voice will turn to ash (we all know there's no coming back from that) I feel that my loneliness will consume me that the ache inside my bones will get louder, pounding and pounding with the realization that I am unimportant. Unimportant to even those that claim I am the very opposite, Some say that I shine bright and have unwavering strength. I'd like to know where, because this shell I wear is cracking and it is waiting on the right moment to bre...

Shh. Do you hear that? Make sure you are listening in close, I'm only going to repeat this once. I'm saying this hushed now because its a secret and I only want you to know. Do you know why? Because you are the person I hold close, the one that I want to share things with. I know you won't tell a soul because if you did, you would betray my trust and once its gone you cannot get it back.  Did you get it? Did you hear my message clearly. Please nod if you understand. I have a fear that what I say might scare you away. I only want to be honest with you. Know that my intentions are pure . I only mean to make you see,  to understand the voices in my head. The ones that scream at me, I know that you cannot physically hear them but I would like for you to know what they say. The dark things they tell me to do. The desperation in their voices when I fight back. Its consuming me.  Please don't turn away, like I'm a freak, I'm only human and I cannot help...

It's hard, and cold. The air seizes between my lungs.  I cannot breathe. Am I alive? How can I be sure? Time has stopped, that the warmth I knew has gone. I'm frozen, frozen in the hell of my own making. Am I alone? Trapped in a web. Have I lost, lost the very foundation of my being? How did it come to this? Should I even question how? Deep down I know why but the denial weighs heavily over me. The air that I once breathed is chilled and fills my lungs with sharpness. In and out over and over with caution. I try to breathe but am drowned. ………………………………………………. Its been some time now and the sting that I once felt stopped. I think this cold suits me well. Others can see it now to, in my voice and my actions. Who is this person I've become. My thoughts are empty, my feelings emotionless.  I'm surrounded by emotional beings but I find myself alone.  I'm surrounded.  Surrounded by the city noises but I'm...