Skip to main content

My Voice

The  wind is my voice and I am lost to it, floating effortlessly away. 
I am alone, alone in the presence of many. A silent figure awaiting the promise of interacting. 
The kind of interaction that gives my heart hope, hope that one day I will really be seen for the person that I am. The person with a story to tell and sadness in her eyes. The kind that longs for adventure and just a simple question from a stranger. 

I have fear, fear that by the time I'm heard it'll be too late, that the wind that has picked up my voice will turn to ash (we all know there's no coming back from that) I feel that my loneliness will consume me that the ache inside my bones will get louder, pounding and pounding with the realization that I am unimportant. Unimportant to even those that claim I am the very opposite, Some say that I shine bright and have unwavering strength. I'd like to know where, because this shell I wear is cracking and it is waiting on the right moment to break. 

Inside, I am Little, Frail and incapable. I am sensitive and gentle.  It's funny, I guess to think of myself so small. But you see for the longest time I've had to be strong, I've had to stand up, to fight. While the inner me cried in the corner afraid of the big bad world.  The outer me became almost invincible, (superwoman if you will), who was resilient and always wore a brave face. But my voice? 
My voice is now one of a washed up dream, I am silent or rather silenced by the inescapable doubt of what I might say. My voice could yell in a crowd and sound merely like a soft whisper, to those that want to hear me, they always say speak up. but I'm tired, my voice is weak , I've screamed for far too long. 
 I am alone and full of doubt, unheard and unhinged. My voice is now in the wind, can it be caught? Can it be heard? 

Also featured on: 
https://blogmeetsstories.wixsite.com/website/single-post/2018/08/22/My-Voice

Official Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/Where-Everyday-Blogging-Meets-Storytelling-205069820150136/

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Just A Stay At Home?

I know what you guys are thinking! oh no she's not actually doing it. Shocker, Yes, I'm writing about being a mom. To even it out a stay at home parent. Haha. Did I catch you there, this isn't just to you females that don't break even for that 24/7 job that pays zero. I have to give attention where attention is due because a stay at home Dad?.. Yeah, that a thing too. Props to you daddies that do it! Alot of the time, well lets face it ALL of the time stay at home parents are underestimated and taken for granted because Hello, What do they do all day? Do you really want to know? The list is comprised of over 5,000 things. Oh yes, not an exaggeration either. There are the chores of the house, the dealings with the child/children. We all know how demanding they are. You can't go two seconds without being sucked back to a child's needs. When they start to crawl even walk. The Race is on, the great escape more like it. Once they can walk, they will be running fro...

Whispers To You

Shh. Do you hear that? Make sure you are listening in close, I'm only going to repeat this once. I'm saying this hushed now because its a secret and I only want you to know. Do you know why? Because you are the person I hold close, the one that I want to share things with. I know you won't tell a soul because if you did, you would betray my trust and once its gone you cannot get it back.  Did you get it? Did you hear my message clearly. Please nod if you understand. I have a fear that what I say might scare you away. I only want to be honest with you. Know that my intentions are pure . I only mean to make you see,  to understand the voices in my head. The ones that scream at me, I know that you cannot physically hear them but I would like for you to know what they say. The dark things they tell me to do. The desperation in their voices when I fight back. Its consuming me.  Please don't turn away, like I'm a freak, I'm only human and I cannot help...