Alot of the time, well lets face it ALL of the time stay at home parents are underestimated and taken for granted because Hello, What do they do all day? Do you really want to know? The list is comprised of over 5,000 things. Oh yes, not an exaggeration either. There are the chores of the house, the dealings with the child/children. We all know how demanding they are. You can't go two seconds without being sucked back to a child's needs. When they start to crawl even walk. The Race is on, the great escape more like it. Once they can walk, they will be running from you for the next 17 years. Its exhausted. On an easy day, you might be able to sneak away at nap time for a quick shower, but then the radar kicks in and its screaming cries as you frantically rinse the shampoo from your hair. On a bad day, you won't shower, the dishes will pile up and you WILL shed a few tears because you'll feel as if defeat is right around the corner. But.... You get up, day and night to tend to the needs of your children because that is the job of a parent, a stay at home parent. I applaud you moms and dads that work full time and come home to your babes. That's an exhaustion in itself. Why isn't being a stay at home considered a job? I'll let you guys in on a little secret. ( I haven't stopped moving, yes, moving since the twins were born)
I've felt like I've lost myself, I'm still not sure who I am besides the mom tittle, its rough and here's the unspeakable thing, Depression, that dreaded post par tum that creeps up and stabs you, in more ways than one.
A friend of mine wrote this the other day, I feel the need to share it with everyone:
" Stay at home mom (SAHM) depression.... The elephant in the room nobody talks about I mean, how DARE you complain after being gifted this opportunity to stay at home and raise YOUR own kids but it's not that simple. Of course we SAHM's are being grateful to stay home and raise our young BUT that it's literally all we become.
No one talks about the isolation. No one talks about the loss of identity. No one talks about the loneliness. No one talks about losing your sense of self. No one talks about how you had to give up your career because it's cheaper for you to stay home. No one talks about how you cry in the shower because your day was overwhelming. No one understands why you're tired. No one understands why you're irritable. No one understands why you need a mental break. No one understands why you're so aggravated with your kids. No one understands why after you've been home all day, the house is a wreck still. No one understands why you just need 5 minutes with no one speaking to or touching you. No one understands why you've lost your sex drive. No one understands why you're completely & utterly exhausted, after all, you just sit at home all day No one understands the feeling you have when you are told you don't have a "real job".
Most of us were working women at one point. We got to go to a job and interact with other adults outside our home. We contributed financially to our household. (Shoot, most of us want some kind of side hustle or part time job because it would sure help with financial relief) We didn't feel like an endless maid. We got that break away (even though yes, work is a love/ hate relationship) that gives you space from the people you live with (children, spouse... Etc) because yes, EVERY relationship needs time away in it to not go crazy being around each other 24/7. That's not healthy. Contrary to popular belief... YOU👏NEED👏A👏 BREAK 👏 DAILY 👏
I can't tell you how many women I meet or know that say "oh, you have to much time on your hands" "I sure wish I could stay home, I wouldn't complain" good for you! I can guarantee you will change your mind 6 months in, unless you're wealthy and have money to constantly go do things. I once was you. I wish upon a damn star I could start home with my kids because I wanted to spend all the time I could. I didn't realize what all came with being a SAHM. "
-Kietha Wilbur, 2018
Her post speaks volumes, while it is targeted to the stay at home mom, it can be resignated through all stay at homes. No one understands the struggle that we face daily within ourselves to be a designated homebody to give up the lives we had for these babies. I on't want this piece to come off as stay at home parents thinking that we are superior to those that work a full time job and come home to be a primary caregiver to their kids. No, this speaking to the things that are not seen, behind the scenes, its not perfect homes and having ours shit together, (though we do a very awesome job at portraying it as easy) It's not, its demanding, its always there and its a job that NEVER ends.
*Also featured on Maddietaylorknowslife.com*
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