Life in a NutShell.

Shh. Do you hear that? Make sure you are listening in close, I'm only going to repeat this once. I'm saying this hushed now because its a secret and I only want you to know. Do you know why? Because you are the person I hold close, the one that I want to share things with. I know you won't tell a soul because if you did, you would betray my trust and once its gone you cannot get it back.  Did you get it? Did you hear my message clearly. Please nod if you understand. I have a fear that what I say might scare you away. I only want to be honest with you. Know that my intentions are pure . I only mean to make you see,  to understand the voices in my head. The ones that scream at me, I know that you cannot physically hear them but I would like for you to know what they say. The dark things they tell me to do. The desperation in their voices when I fight back. Its consuming me.  Please don't turn away, like I'm a freak, I'm only human and I cannot help...

It's hard, and cold. The air seizes between my lungs.  I cannot breathe. Am I alive? How can I be sure? Time has stopped, that the warmth I knew has gone. I'm frozen, frozen in the hell of my own making. Am I alone? Trapped in a web. Have I lost, lost the very foundation of my being? How did it come to this? Should I even question how? Deep down I know why but the denial weighs heavily over me. The air that I once breathed is chilled and fills my lungs with sharpness. In and out over and over with caution. I try to breathe but am drowned. ………………………………………………. Its been some time now and the sting that I once felt stopped. I think this cold suits me well. Others can see it now to, in my voice and my actions. Who is this person I've become. My thoughts are empty, my feelings emotionless.  I'm surrounded by emotional beings but I find myself alone.  I'm surrounded.  Surrounded by the city noises but I'm...

No matter who you are, the pain is there, it is evident. It doesn't matter your personality because ever human has different qualities and quirks, A message to everyone: What your told is "Love" might not be so warm. She holds so much inside, her strength could sway the tides. Her power intense. Her love radiant but the pain she bares is hidden deep within. He is open about his pain and wants to share it with the world. his strength is fueled by attention. His power is from his drive to succeed. his love is visible but shy. He is young and naïve, wanting to fit in, he is told the girls pick on him because they like him. She is smart and intuitive and sees that people aren't fond of her. She is bullied by the girls who once accepted her. he is shut off from sports groups because of his interesting in a girl that did not meet the norm. The love these friends once shown was not real. It is pain. It is all a ruse, a game. It is the opposite of love. Everyday, all aroun...

I know curiosity has killed the cat over and over. Maybe, even longer than 9 times. But, our curiosity seems to never fade. As humans we always find things to oogle over. The things that make us question what is acceptable. Its actually quite funny. The big picture, I mean. How we stop and stare and ponder over the things we may never fully know about. There's a lot isn't there? We may stop and question things we desire the answers too. What about the questions that do not have answers the ones that leave open ended responses to be filled with the imaginative curiosity. Those my friends are the ones to ponder over.  We typically assume that every question has an answer, but do they? Do they have to? and (Every so popularly) Why? Like you, I'm not sure of that. Not all questions have answers just like not all actions come with reason. Some times the things we don't understand happen out of circumstance with no reason or meaning. They just do.  I know that ...

This is the first time that I am adding a trigger warning to one of my posts, but to some that are going through this same situation that is going to be read, it may cause some emotional responses. My intention is not to upset but discuss something that is not brought up much. When I titled this post "Functional Families" I wanted to add emphasis to the word functional because I will not be discussing the families that have all the pieces together but the ones that can not come together. It is known, that perfect families do not exist but there is a level of perfection that exists within a family unit that keeps it running smoothly, Everyone participates and has their roles to play. What happens when the function of a family is broken? When Mom or Dad is absent? What is the silent depression among kids that isn't talked about. Sure the stigma claims when there is an absence of one or more parent a child/children are from a "Broken home" Why? because the ...

Why do I care so much, why do I give a damn? All I seem to do is try and try to be there and to give my undivided self to everybody. I think I love so intensely that even the slightest inconvenience to someone that I care about is debilitating and tears me to pieces. Naturally, I do not want to see anyone hurt, sad. If I can't help, Im helpless. Hopeless and feeling like a waste of space. Why do I care so much? Maybe it is a gift. Maybe it is a cruel injustice that's been given. Then I have to stop and think. If not me, then who? If I wasn't there to care about someone, would someone else. I may not be the best person to ask for advice or the greatest friend who never screws up, but I have love, an open heart and the open mindedness of someone who has never known pain. Even though, I've been through trials, heart break and gut wrenching tears. Every chance shouldn't be the last, every love deserves attention. So Why do I care so much? Why does plain Jane, lil old me...

To the mom with the long hair, leave it long. If length is your style don't change. If the kids think that you have a built in rope swing let them. They'll only pull on it for awhile. It will pass. Do not let go of the beauty that you desire. Being a mom doesn't mean that you can not BE YOU TIFUL. It means that you express yourself through your children. Alot of the times moms lose their identity to the demanding life of caring for their babies. Having kids and becoming mothers does not mean that you have to lose who you are. It means that you embrace the aspects that you love about yourself. Maybe your a class clown and funny as hell. Embrace it, strengthen it and leave the impression on your kids. Do not change who you are to fit the uptight mom stigma. I've been asked continually, why with three kids, do I have my hair long? Why do I desire to grow it to my butt. I'll tell you, because my kids are not me. Yes, I've adopted the awesome roll of being Mama to...