Life in a NutShell.

There's always that desire to know what goes on around us, we stress, strain and fight until the answers that we seek are inches from our grasp. Here's the real strain, knowing. knowing what lies ahead of us, we think that we have it all figured out. That if we just knew where we were going, we could be in control. Take the wheel and steer right into the positive side. Isn't the unknowing more fun? Is it not easy to live carefree and start anew? Let the anxiety and fear wash away and become that moment that was once dreaded. Life is deadly, in one way to the next. It is not simple, it is a twisty complexity of messes, a roller coaster without a stop. So what is the trouble with knowing what lies ahead? Well in this twisty world, unpredictability is key. Why plan and set aside, straining your very being with the stress and anticipation only to be let down by the outcome, this my friends happens 9/10 times.  Plans are created because that's all it is a plan, you pla...

Now more than ever it seems that we an intelligent species cannot sway from our constant lives of work and no play to find a distraction in the beauty that the Earth herself offers to us. The beach is my solitude, maybe it was years of, sand in my toes and the waves crashing against my skin, that I buried myself in the very essence of "there's no place like home" but when being an  adult hit, I forgot what it was like to enjoy the salt in the air and the breeze through my hair. We often do that a lot forget, on a daily basis really, that there is so much more to living then working our fingers to the bone and stressing if it's safe to walk down the street in our neighborhoods. Nowadays we can not say that it's safe because of the deranged run rampant and the sane are forced to take cover and forget about life's simple pleasures. Really? What the hell happened, why must we fall from the life of ease and work our way into struggle? because that's the wa...

Doesn't that seem ironic that I would name this blog post, it's been awhile. I truly mean that, and to my readers, I'm sorry because I have not kept my word and I would really like to explain why I have not been making posts about God knows what ( Laugh out loud) Okay so to refresh, Yes, I am pregnant and had mentioned that I think in a post or two, well as it turns out, this is not a normal pregnancy. I'm not trying to turn this into a Mommy blog complaining about my stay at home life I'm just making the abnormal heard, so let's continue. My first ultrasound happened a little over a week after my last post and by that time, fatigue and nausea set in all I could do was lay in bed ( Didn't need to be cleaning puke off my keyboard) Okay, back to the ultrasound, my son, my fiance and myself waltz into the room and I pull up my shirt, on goes the gel and the tech places the wand right there just under my belly button. You'll never guess what we saw. Ye...

m Nobody! Who are you? Are you – Nobody – too? Then there’s a pair of us! Don’t tell! they’d advertise – you know! How dreary – to be – Somebody! How public – like a Frog –  To tell one’s name – the livelong June –  To an admiring Bog! - Emily Dickinson The poem that says it all, the one that speaks a million truths in only a few simple lines. This is my favorite poem that I have come across not in the sense that it is a peace of history but because in the world, we are nobodies, to our friends not anymore but we used to be, think about it, there are billions of strangers in the world that we do not know, therefore they are a nobody to us, we do not care for their pain or happiness or their lives as a whole. We can only care about those that we know and we only relate to circumstances that fit events that we have been through. But why? I don't have the slightest idea. Just be brutually honest. ...

I know the title might not make sense to you guys but to me, it speaks a thousand words. Let's just say that I have been preoccupied with the unexpected and at the same time trying to break away and allow myself a breather. Of course, I've mentioned before that life can obviously be unexpected and mainly at the worst times ever, but we strive somehow, someway we get over the hump and come out ahead. But what if the unexpected events are the ones that deep down we actually expected to happen? I know that I can't be the only one who has sat down and thought about the outcome of events and how they might go from bad to worse. You think of the worst possibilities and then try to reassure yourself that it could never happen but sometimes your right! the gruesome scenario that you've created has become real and the unexpected part is that you can't believe that it happened. That is really what I'm trying to say here, that the unexpected events are the ones that ...

This post matches it's title to a T. At some point in all of our lives we do this, more than once actually, but why? Maybe you're absorbed in your looks, its are drained from children or work. Who knows? your life is your own. I've never really had given a thought about self-pity until here recently and I've opened my eyes and noticed changes not only to myself but in myself. I do find myself loathing and wallowing with pity. But to make a change you have to put the work it'snot going to get better without the added effort. I've had to fight my inner being here recently to realise that my change will have to wait but it needs to be made to better my life and my childern. So I say again maybe it's work, class, your kids, money or image. Don't wallow after all we are all suppose to love ourselfs for who we are but what they don't tell you is to love yourself in a healthy way. body shaming has always been around and will continue to be because th...

Let's just say that jumping back into the "saddle" can be tough, but you have already made the effort and put one foot in front of the other. Charting a course for your future is not an easy task, certainly not for me. People will always tell you to be resilient and to persevere and it's true you should because you are your own success only you and you alone have the power to make your dreams come into reality. I say that light spirited because it is so easy to be excited and make yourself believe that you can see this potential triumph all the way to the finish line but as time drag on and the workflows, with each new class you feel a sense of Awe and accomplishment that only you can be proud of and you should cherish that grade because it will get you far. There are also the what if's tuition, fees, technical issues, the struggle. Maybe your not doing so well in a course. I thought that I was invincible, finishing up the rest of my Associates with countless ...