Life in a NutShell.

Were at that time of the year again folks where another year has come to past and the celebration of the Christmas holiday is more about receiving then giving. I hope my readers have had more ups the downs this past year and wish the best for all of you in 2018.          The Holidays are a time to spend with the ones you love most, kids, parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends. All there to crack jokes and talk about the bad and the good that the year has brought. Even though a lot of people dread the holidays, they end up loving it by the days end. So this Christmas, don't only cherish the family and friends that you have but love yourself in the process, look forward to the new year and the years to come because even in this new age of thinking there is still tomorrow to look forward to. Give the gift of giving, don't worry about what you receive but know that you put a smile on someones face because of the little things. Help a stranger ...

The Carousel  never stops turning {Grey's Anatomy} Oh yes, I went there because it makes the most sense. It never stops turning as the carousel is a reference to life, and the full circle that is life. We always seem to go through cycles where the going gets good and then its great! a full 360 and were back to being sad, unhappy and the bad things in life. You know the kind that  pokes it's ugly head from the gutter. "surprise"* Que the sad music*  I think its funny, "Don't get too comfortable" They say because you never know when the circle will catch fire. Its the complete truth, so much truth can be found in those four little words that it hurts, you can not predict what will happen a few hours from now let alone tomorrow. In the blink of an eye everything that you hold dear can be torn from you. I know it's not the best thing to think about but it is a reality that haunts us all. "Expect the unexpected" take that phrase to heart beca...

We never truly realize how fast things can get stolen from us. How we get too comfortable with the way our lives are that we forget how quickly it can be taken from us. This past Friday something traumatic happened to my family, a unexpected painful thing that didn’t end in horribly tragic way  but enough to open our eyes to the gift that we’ve been given. Friday the 13th no doubt... It was a normal day, my fiancé and our three babies ran errands like any other day. He headed to work, like any normal day, 6:30 that evening he headed out the door. An hour later on the Dot, I receive a phone call. He was in a car accident and was at the hospital.. My heart stopped. I knew that hearing his voice means that he’s alive but I needed the validation that we wasn’t severely injured. The next thing I knew a ding and a picture of the car, totaled, rubble, I mean how did he walk away alive? Mangled. The thought continued to rush through my mind, my kids still have their father, yes, he is al...

  As humans we are biologically programmed to believe that our way maybe the best way 7/10 times we refuse others idea or adopt others thoughts as our own claiming that we don't know what the big deal Is. A suggestion offers help so why does it matter. We often fail to make the connection that what we have done hurts others around us by failing to acknowledge their contributions as the only end that we can picture is the one where were on top. You are thinking about this pretty deeply now huh? Have even caught yourself in plenty of instances where this is true for you. Don't feel bad it happens and happens so much that it goes unnoticed. Wondering why? Let's start with the fast paced life that we all live. Routine and on the go, never stopping and when we do we wonder why the hours seem like minutes and the days go by unnoticed. We've adopted the notion that to live is to work and just the thought the value of time and the luxury of relaxation to go unused, unnotic...

There's always that desire to know what goes on around us, we stress, strain and fight until the answers that we seek are inches from our grasp. Here's the real strain, knowing. knowing what lies ahead of us, we think that we have it all figured out. That if we just knew where we were going, we could be in control. Take the wheel and steer right into the positive side. Isn't the unknowing more fun? Is it not easy to live carefree and start anew? Let the anxiety and fear wash away and become that moment that was once dreaded. Life is deadly, in one way to the next. It is not simple, it is a twisty complexity of messes, a roller coaster without a stop. So what is the trouble with knowing what lies ahead? Well in this twisty world, unpredictability is key. Why plan and set aside, straining your very being with the stress and anticipation only to be let down by the outcome, this my friends happens 9/10 times.  Plans are created because that's all it is a plan, you pla...

Now more than ever it seems that we an intelligent species cannot sway from our constant lives of work and no play to find a distraction in the beauty that the Earth herself offers to us. The beach is my solitude, maybe it was years of, sand in my toes and the waves crashing against my skin, that I buried myself in the very essence of "there's no place like home" but when being an  adult hit, I forgot what it was like to enjoy the salt in the air and the breeze through my hair. We often do that a lot forget, on a daily basis really, that there is so much more to living then working our fingers to the bone and stressing if it's safe to walk down the street in our neighborhoods. Nowadays we can not say that it's safe because of the deranged run rampant and the sane are forced to take cover and forget about life's simple pleasures. Really? What the hell happened, why must we fall from the life of ease and work our way into struggle? because that's the wa...

Doesn't that seem ironic that I would name this blog post, it's been awhile. I truly mean that, and to my readers, I'm sorry because I have not kept my word and I would really like to explain why I have not been making posts about God knows what ( Laugh out loud) Okay so to refresh, Yes, I am pregnant and had mentioned that I think in a post or two, well as it turns out, this is not a normal pregnancy. I'm not trying to turn this into a Mommy blog complaining about my stay at home life I'm just making the abnormal heard, so let's continue. My first ultrasound happened a little over a week after my last post and by that time, fatigue and nausea set in all I could do was lay in bed ( Didn't need to be cleaning puke off my keyboard) Okay, back to the ultrasound, my son, my fiance and myself waltz into the room and I pull up my shirt, on goes the gel and the tech places the wand right there just under my belly button. You'll never guess what we saw. Ye...

m Nobody! Who are you? Are you – Nobody – too? Then there’s a pair of us! Don’t tell! they’d advertise – you know! How dreary – to be – Somebody! How public – like a Frog –  To tell one’s name – the livelong June –  To an admiring Bog! - Emily Dickinson The poem that says it all, the one that speaks a million truths in only a few simple lines. This is my favorite poem that I have come across not in the sense that it is a peace of history but because in the world, we are nobodies, to our friends not anymore but we used to be, think about it, there are billions of strangers in the world that we do not know, therefore they are a nobody to us, we do not care for their pain or happiness or their lives as a whole. We can only care about those that we know and we only relate to circumstances that fit events that we have been through. But why? I don't have the slightest idea. Just be brutually honest. ...

I know the title might not make sense to you guys but to me, it speaks a thousand words. Let's just say that I have been preoccupied with the unexpected and at the same time trying to break away and allow myself a breather. Of course, I've mentioned before that life can obviously be unexpected and mainly at the worst times ever, but we strive somehow, someway we get over the hump and come out ahead. But what if the unexpected events are the ones that deep down we actually expected to happen? I know that I can't be the only one who has sat down and thought about the outcome of events and how they might go from bad to worse. You think of the worst possibilities and then try to reassure yourself that it could never happen but sometimes your right! the gruesome scenario that you've created has become real and the unexpected part is that you can't believe that it happened. That is really what I'm trying to say here, that the unexpected events are the ones that ...

This post matches it's title to a T. At some point in all of our lives we do this, more than once actually, but why? Maybe you're absorbed in your looks, its are drained from children or work. Who knows? your life is your own. I've never really had given a thought about self-pity until here recently and I've opened my eyes and noticed changes not only to myself but in myself. I do find myself loathing and wallowing with pity. But to make a change you have to put the work it'snot going to get better without the added effort. I've had to fight my inner being here recently to realise that my change will have to wait but it needs to be made to better my life and my childern. So I say again maybe it's work, class, your kids, money or image. Don't wallow after all we are all suppose to love ourselfs for who we are but what they don't tell you is to love yourself in a healthy way. body shaming has always been around and will continue to be because th...

Let's just say that jumping back into the "saddle" can be tough, but you have already made the effort and put one foot in front of the other. Charting a course for your future is not an easy task, certainly not for me. People will always tell you to be resilient and to persevere and it's true you should because you are your own success only you and you alone have the power to make your dreams come into reality. I say that light spirited because it is so easy to be excited and make yourself believe that you can see this potential triumph all the way to the finish line but as time drag on and the workflows, with each new class you feel a sense of Awe and accomplishment that only you can be proud of and you should cherish that grade because it will get you far. There are also the what if's tuition, fees, technical issues, the struggle. Maybe your not doing so well in a course. I thought that I was invincible, finishing up the rest of my Associates with countless ...

Long title I know but I leave little mystery tonight, There is a lot on my mind and a new profound discovery that has me in a state of Awe, the bad thing is that it isn't at all bad but beneficial and in all reality a gift. But why can't I come to terms? why can't I stand up and say okay! and tackle it like a hurdle on the track field. Is it different this time, I don't know maybe, I have one so what's two but am I ready for the juggle well now I have to be? I have the nickname "Matter of fact Maddie" for a reason, there is significance there, but why is this issue different. I'm stuck pondering the what ifs and honestly on the brink of terrified. It can't make my life worse, again it's a gift, unexpected but wrapped in that proverbial bow that life throws our way. I have time, a good about of time, in fact, to accept and move forward. In a Christian sense, I can't help but believe that this a test of my strength from a higher pow...

Yeah, I said that as a title because we talk about the pressure to conform or complete a task and are always confronted with witless banter and ways to enhance behaviours but it is rarely talked about that there are pressures when it comes to being ourselves. What?! I know you would think it's quite easy to stop acting a fool and just be you but not everything is as it seems because you may have family breathing down your neck, a boss that wants to see if you're ready for a higher up position. So your strained you want to be you but then again you really want that job because it offers amazing benefits and you might have that one Aunt that is "holier than though" so in a way you are pressured to live up to expectations. Trust me, I've been there and although I say Dare to be different and be yourself. Well, I truly mean it. If family out of all people can't accept you for you and the choices you make cut them off because they are offering nothing but added...

Sorry guys, been down and out for the count since New Years, broke my glasses, gained cold that gets worse and worse. Started a new class which is nice, considering I'm not a math whiz and that was a sarcastic comment. A little humour to start, we all have those rough days, where something seems to happen whether big or small. How many can relate to those days when one thing goes wrong and there are a domino effect and everything topples over from there and by the end of the day, you want to give up on life. Happen a lot? I know to me too! I'm sure they happen to all of us because we are not only intelligent but a clumsy creature. How about those days that you wake up and for no apart reason you are B***** (no, I'm not going to say it this time) I'm not only talking to the ladies because we all have those days, I don't care who you are. But, we complain about everything and all around hate the life we live, What's funny is that a small percent of us actua...